Regarding Falling Villains
by naturalbornderpy
Summary: Given the successful befriending of Discord, Princess Celestia deems that no longer will villains be defeated but instead reformed. While most have the chance to submit willingly or continue to fight, King Sombra is given little option. Brought back from the dead with no powers, it's all become a game of futility. Now Sombra only wishes he could have stayed dead all along.
1. Chapter 1: Regarding Bad Ideas

REGARDING MY JOB

I came back into this world not of my own accord but by that of my tormentor—the one that greets me each morning with that punctual smile, always followed by that curt nod. I arrive only a few minutes before her every horrendous day and am now starting to wonder if she times her entrances with mine.

Celestia usually starts her mornings with a few sips from her small tea cup while hovering a lengthy scroll near her head—whatever treachery she must have planned for the day. When I see her coming I lower in my hard-back seat and try to concentrate on the black coffee I fetch for myself each morning. Sometimes it feels like the only thing I have going for me.

"Good morning, Sombra," she always says brightly. "Busy day I assume?"

I regard her with the same wrath that has made the weak scream for a pittance of mercy and the strong shiver in their armor. I bore everything into both red and green eyes and wish the high ceiling above would suddenly cave in and take the white alicorn to the floor in a hurry. Most mornings I hope for a lot of things, but alas seldom few are granted. Instead of receiving any of the things I wish for, I only cling desperately to my warm cup and say nothing at all.

"In time you'll thank me, Sombra," she says this particular morning, uncaring of the plight she's placing on me or unaware of the doom that's steadily coming her way. (I haven't worked out all the details of the pre-mentioned doom but it's _always_ coming.) "I don't think a single villain started off evil, Sombra, so why should their actions label them forever? Give it time, and I'm sure you'll come to welcome friendship just as much as Discord has."

I loudly sip my coffee and as I watch her I feel my eyes grow dry as I try not to blink. If she thought I was just another nut to crack, she was plainly wrong. She was dealing with a King and she only hadn't noticed yet. My time was coming, I knew.

"Just stay off the roof, okay?"

She tips me a wink and I feel a wash of blood rush to my face. I damn my body for the injustice done to me, yet can't stop the reaction. My only hope is that my darkened appearance masks any such blemishes. She just _had_ to mention it, hadn't she?

REGARDING BAD IDEAS

Months ago, Princess Celestia decreed that all notable villains should be given a second chance to discover the magic of friendship for their own wellbeing. A creature by the name of Discord (I'd never heard of him either, but if he's been under Celestia's torment for the years he's been around, I pity him more than most) was the first of such nefarious baddies to be strapped down and forced into the cult of friendship and overall good-natured-ness. Whatever they had done to him—whatever _sick, _and_ twisted_ acts they had performed on the poor soul—had altered his very identity and made him a type of model citizen for the rest of Equestria to gaze upon.

Congrats, Celestia. Really. Wonderful job. Not only must you _defeat_ your adversaries, but now you must rub their faces in the dirt—_remind_ them of their loss and force them to spend countless hours with the very ones that had originally brought them to their knees. And I always thought _I_ was a monster most foul. I never could have guessed just how far these heroes of ours would go. Do they not know of the dance we do? The intertwining dynamic that creates positively exciting existence from the delicate balance of good versus evil?

Discord had been revived from his stone prison for all of three seconds and then instantly thrown through the grinding friendship machine. From what I had heard, a pegasus of yellow and pink had done the dirty work and every day behind my desk when I see a mare with pink mane do I slide down behind my counter as far as I can go (although my elongated horn makes such immature tactics close to impossible to pull off). For days they must have tortured him. Thrown him on a rack until every natural villainous calling had been wiped clean before they must have re-trained him the way Celestia would have wanted him to be. Although I never would have classified Discord as one of the greats (I hear he did chaos, but mostly… _messy_ and not woefully evil chaos), it was still hard to hear of one of my brethren forcibly changed against their will.

Yet he had had a better chance than myself.

Discord had been able to keep his magical abilities—for use in the department of helpful activities. I was never allowed any such reprieves. Even now, as I keep my head bent and try to dodge as many absentminded questions from wayward ponies as possible, I scarcely make the quill to the page, a light sweat already boarding around my wonderfully styled mane. On good days I will store as much extra magic as I can, fill out the forms and busy work balancing a quill between two awkward hooves, all in the attempt at being able to write with more accuracy later on.

While Discord had been released from stone, I was brought back to life from a chunk of bone that had been thrown clear of my Crystal Empire. It's not often I like to recall my horrifically unnerving day of defeat, but sometimes when I'm asked the same question for the tenth time in a row from ponies visiting Canterlot castle ("Two doors down on the left"), I almost wish I was beaten even _more_ than I had been. Find my bones. Dig them up. Pound them to dust. At least then I wouldn't be here in Canterlot, sitting behind this desk and waiting for one of several things to occur: for my tormentors to lose hope and place me back into the blackened void known as death; for them to slip up enough to make my escape and triumphant return; or for myself to wake up in a cold sweat, back in my Empire over a thousand years ago. Sadly, choice number one is the only one that grows more prevalent in my head. Anyway, the roof.

REGARDING THE ROOF

After being brought back from wonderful death and after first glaring at every Princess that sat before me (there were like… _four_ of them—even some purple one I had completely forgotten existed), I was told of my punishment in lue of my lifetime of misdeeds. I was to help the daily operations of the Canterlot castle, and with any hope, some of what I should bare witness to would rub off on my blackened heart. My initial response wasn't so much a well retorted argument about how change should never be forced upon others and that these alicorns shouldn't try and play creator with those they'd deem below them, but more so myself laughing around on the floor until tears welled up in both eyes. Not only had they brought me back from the dead and delivered me right to their very hub of operations, but they planned on giving me free reign to mingle with the populace that passed through it. My oh my how times had changed.

"You are serious?" I had asked Celestia, back when I would have considered my outwardly guile resembling something close to a ruler.

"Very," she told me, a shine of determination set in her eyes. "Every one deserves a second chance, Sombra. Even you."

"Then I must thank you, Celestia."

I smiled at them all. Let every fang hang out in the air. This was to be the last time that I'd see them, so I wanted to leave on a somewhat professional note. I would start with the purple one—the one that had bested my traps all those many years ago. The pink one would charge soon after, I knew, but she would be done away with hastily. (I could never imagine the Princess of Love somehow turning into the Princess of Combat overnight, not with that slender frame of hers.) I would bathe in their youthful blood as Celestia and Luna would unite to put a swift end to me. Remembering what had occurred the last time we sparred, I would unveil a new tactic that would all but guarantee my victory. Then Equestria would find itself under new rule.

But when I focused all my rage and hate upon the smallest alicorn of them all, did only a small lock of her mane slide in front of her eyes. Bemused, she huffed it away.

"Ugh," I grunted, as I focused my blood-red horn to her.

The same batch of hair fell to her nose. "Stop that!" she yelled at me.

I tried something new on each of the alicorns glaring down on me, only to come away with close to the same result. They had robbed me of my magic—my talent. As well as nearly all my physical strength and the crown I wore atop my head.

Following my little outburst, Celestia regarded me warmly. "I should thank you for bringing up my next point, Sombra. Until you are deemed a friend to Equestria, your magical abilities will be limited severely. If you have any hope of being granted them again, I would try and find the good inside you as soon as possible. We are all here to help—not hurt you, as you might think."

By her side, Luna stood to face me. "And if you should try a single thing out of order, monster, I will not hesitate to put you down again!"

In just a few choice words, Celestia had ripped open a hole in my chest, upending the order of the world as I knew it. At least Luna was not following the abysmal change of tactic as orderly as the rest. Quite empty inside at that moment, I mouthed the words, "Thank you," to her and sat back down on the suddenly cold ground. Next they took me to my cell.

Even though my cell had no real bars to speak of or to bang my head against when some days seem to drag out for eternity, I would have preferred a place in the deepest pits of Tartarus over such a room. A circular desk, chin height with a shelf underneath lined with dozens of document holders. A few meters directly in front of that were four glass doors that fed out into the Canterlot courtyard—the hustle and bustle of hundreds of ponies mere steps from my workstation.

For a solid minute I regarded my desk: the hard, black swivel seat behind it; the silver bell atop the counter; the "Please ask for assistance" sign that sat opposite the bell. I viewed over a patiently waiting Celestia and in my mind, told her, "No, thank you." What actually came out was, "I'd rather die all over again than possibly sit here, for hours a day, on display for all your guests." Because, isn't that what she was _exactly_ doing to me? "Look, everyone, look!" Celestia would cry to her throngs of devoted followers. "Remember that tyrant _King_ from so long ago? Now he works reception! Really! Go ask him a question and he'll answer it! He works for me now and now I'm rubbing his nose in it! Seriously! Touch his mane! It isn't fake I swear!"

"I told you this wouldn't work," Luna said from behind her sister, already pursing her lips in annoyance. "Even your attempts on the reformed Discord have been hit and miss at best."

_Luna will die last_, I told myself that bleak day. _It will be quick, too. She has shown she is far above such ridiculousness as this._

Celestia bared down on her sister. "Luna, we will not get anywhere with attitudes like _that_. The friendship that Twilight has shown me over the years has done a lot to sway my opinion on even our worst nemesis. What is so wrong about trying a different ploy in the singular goal of peace? How do you fathom Sombra will feel if even _my own sister_ does not believe in his rehabilitation?"

"I'd think I hate her a lot less than you, Celestia," I said, well away from my desk of punishment.

Celestia huffed and stormed from the room, not before lifting me up and setting me down in the small chair behind the counter. Once my plot hit the seat I could hardly keep my mouth from trembling. No one had _ever_ moved me as easily as then. No one had ever told me what to do… and then made me do it. But this was still during the time when I thought this might be nothing more than a fever dream and not cold, harsh reality.

So what else was there to do but press on?

For a time I fiddled with documents and read a few lines of fine print, trying to grasp the enemy stronghold along with all of its dealings. This only made my eyes nearly water from the small print, so instead I glared at the set of glass doors ahead. _Maybe I could out-bore my own dream_, I had thought foolishly. The wall clock behind me ticked away loudly. Every few seconds a new colorful pony would trot across the entryway outside, and each time my stomach would sink at the very thought of one of them entering here and seeing me. Then it happened.

A pink mare with green and white mane trotted in with a notebook in tow. She watched me with a quizzical expression before smiling at me. Not a returned expression.

"You must be new!" she exclaimed, as though every sentence should be uttered loudly and with enthusiasm.

I blinked slowly. "I won't be around for long."

Oddly, she laughed at my statement. "I'm sure you'll do fine. Could you tell me where the historical archives are?"

I sighed. "I don't know."

She waved it off. "That's okay, I'm sure I'll find it. Is this your first day?"

Something began to throb in my temple. I repeated, "I won't be around for long."

Horrifically, her look changed from one of simple joy to one of concern. Before I had a chance to move away, she snatched up one of my resting forelegs from the counter and held it between two of her own. "Don't think like that! Don't you _dare_ think like that!" Her all consuming eyes never left my horrorstruck pair. "Everyone has trouble on their first day, but soon I'm sure you'll get everything down pat and know just about everything. A good attitude can _always_ help, too, you know."

I said not a word and only concerned myself with my lost leg trapped between her warm hooves.

Finally, she noted my trepidation. "Or… you know, showing up on time and being punctual can help." Then she did something I hadn't seen coming. Still clutching my poor, weak limb, she pulled at it until my chest hit the desk and she wrapped both legs around my darkened shoulders.

She had hugged me.

Some peasant stranger from Canterlot thought she could embrace the King without his permission. And I had done nothing about it—could _barely_ do anything about it.

"Gah!" I muttered, as her mane tempted to tickle my snout.

"Well, good luck!" she said before departing, unhooking from me as my rear found my seat again.

Unsure of what had just happened I watched the clock behind me, sure that hours must have passed since first forced there against my will. Color drained from my face as I learned only twenty minutes had elapsed. It was then that I knew what I had to do.

The roof was easy to find once I discovered the stairwell. Celestia had sat myself down and kept a bubble on the King for the first ten minutes at best, but when she went too far or lost interest, I was sure I would be free to do as I please. The outside air felt wonderful in my lungs and as it gently pulled at the hair on my shoulders. It would have been a wondrous sight had I been left my cape and crown, but those items had been lost somewhere along the way.

I viewed the ground several dozen meters below and waited for a group of ponies to come galloping by. If I could time it right I could land on a bunch of them and then we'd all go out together—wouldn't _that_ put a damper in Celestia's plan? After a few minutes of no one passing by at all, I dismissed the idea as more than likely someone would start looking for me soon. Without a single thought about pain or whether this height was even enough to finish the job again, I stumbled off the roof head first and waited for the ground to come greet me.

Celestia might have taken my powers and brought me back from the dead without my compliance, but that didn't leave me completely without options. Another death was almost like another victory. Celestia's new friendship plan hadn't worked and the second villain she tried it on jumped off a roof. I honestly couldn't see many more villains lining up for her treatment after that. My last thought before smearing across the sidewalk was just how easily a solution that had been. In my reawakening I had grown quite naive.

So came the blissful dark.


	2. Chapter 2: Regarding Falling Villains

REGARDING FALLING VILLAINS

The blackened void had been everything I had imagined it to be. I was infinite; it was never-ending; and best of all it was quiet and completely absent of alicorns. Truly a blissful place.

Well, that's basically how I'd always _imagined_ such a location to be—a purgatory fit for a King. But the truth is I was too dead to notice much of anything. Death is just that. Blackness. Nothingness. Sleep without dreams or even the knowledge of sleep at all. I awoke from my first death not understanding where I'd been for the last few years. I awoke from my second death close to the same.

I opened my eyes to find a light shining into them.

"Can you hear me?" a voice asked from some dark part of the room.

I licked my dry lips. "How many years has it been?" Suddenly my mind was alight with what had happened prior. "Is Celestia still alive? Has she been stopped?"

"You've been dead for two hours, Sombra."

_No,_ my sleepy self thought. _I didn't hear that right._

"Two thousand years?" I asked meekly.

"Two hours, Sombra. And I honestly expected better of you."

The doctor that had been shining his pocket light in my bleary eyes backed away and I found myself in the same room as before. Four glaring alicorns sat before me. While Luna merely looked bored, Celestia looked mad. Her ever flowing mane seeming to slow to rival her mood.

"I gave you the simplest of jobs," she continued, "to try and assimilate you back into the world. You couldn't last even half an hour without killing yourself. That was foolish on your part, Sombra. If all we needed the first time to bring you back was a piece of your horn, what makes you think that your crushed carcass would somehow prove more difficult? It was wrong of you to do and it was wrong of myself to allow you such freedom. You could have seriously hurt or killed some innocent bystander below."

"You think I didn't try?" I asked, barring a fang. This was still around the time I thought she'd actually cave once met with mild resistance.

Celestia ignored my jab. "It took us only two hours to bring you back, Sombra. It would have been even shorter but we broke for lunch once I had someone scrape what remained of you off the pavement. You might have thought you were showing contention by your actions but you have only tempted me to double my efforts. I will not be the one to give up on you, Sombra. There is good in you, and _I will_ find it."

I found my head aching something horrible around the edges of my horn—most likely where I'd first smashed into the earth. "I assure you, Celestia, there is no good in me to find."

"We have all the time in the world, Sombra. And I have never been one to give up easily."

"I'll find a way out."

"If death was your first attempt, I can't imagine what'll come next. If you kill yourself again, we'll only bring you back. There is no way out of this."

Suddenly I found it very hard to breathe. Suddenly something warm forced its way behind both of my eyes. I said stubbornly, "But I don't _want_ to be good."

Celestia held no pity in her stare. "Then you should have thought of that before you enslaved an entire race and held them under your rule."

Instead of arguing more, I sat in silence and waited for things to come to a close. Trying to verbally combat Celestia when she had her mind on something was akin to striking a solid wall with a rubber ball. It would only bounce back and hit you in the face, before the notion of something larger and heavier came to mind.

Since the work day was still in mid-motion, I was led back to my little counter and this time a royal guard was stationed only feet away from me. As much as I wanted to glare and to intimidate Celestia's repugnant tool, an overwhelming chill in my stomach caused me to merely swirl a quill around a lone piece of paper, perhaps trying to determine just how much magic I was being granted. It was sadly not enough to give me much hope.

REGARDING THE COLOR OF FRIENDSHIP

Only an hour later did a servant of Celestia's come and throw a white dress shirt with snap buttons on top of my counter. They told me the Princess had wanted me to fit the part and perhaps not appear as menacing as I would without it. Since I knew any such resistance would only end in Celestia's personal visit to my desk (and I had seen enough of the white alicorn to last me at least another dozen deaths by that point), I took the shirt and slipped it on. For ten minutes I fumbled with the buttons until my personal guard came around and did them up with his horn. Somehow I had gone from a menacing King to a helpless fool in less than a day.

When he was done he told me, "You know they put up a sign outside because of you."

I couldn't tell if he was trying to rouse me or simply trying to chat. "What sign?"

"A blackened silhouette of you falling through the air. It says 'Watch out for falling villains'. I doubt Celestia knows of it, though. I think it's just a joke."

I thought of knifes and hooks and rusty nails and somehow calmed myself down. The guard then pushed over a small name tag.

"You're supposed to wear this, too, I guess."

I read what it said. The first line stated: "Canterlot Reception," and below that: "SOMBRA". In much smaller font than the first two lines was one last word below: "Trainee." With what magic I had left in store I added an uppercase "K." in front of my name and threaded it to my shirt. When my guard came around to help once more I growled until he retreated. It was a small victory, but it would need to do for the time.

Barely an hour later did I summon the same dunderhead over.

"I'm cold," I said bluntly.

"It's not cold in here," he answered, before peering through the set of glass doors. "It's beautiful outside and almost stifling in here."

I didn't budge. "That's because you're wearing your uniform and standing near the door. I have a thin shirt on and sit in the shadows behind this desk. Perhaps a blanket or a… large _cloth_ of some kind would be nice. Maybe a red one."

The guard only stood where he was, his eyes working away on hidden notions inside.

I then sealed the deal. "I sure would feel the power of _friendship_ if you'd do me such a kindness. I'm sure Celestia would just _love_ to hear how much we've bonded, you and I."

Something bright blossomed in his head. He regarded me sourly. "You're not going to try for the roof again, are you?"

I scanned my desk. "You see how far it got me the last time?" I smiled at him, as bright as I could. It hurt my face but I did it anyways.

"All right. But stay there and don't do anything." He then turned to leave.

"Something _red_ would be nice!" I yelled after him, as I watched him ascend a set of stairs.

The plan had never been to escape from Canterlot castle that day or any such thing. I knew after my first sudden trip from the sky, Celestia would be visibly—or at least mentally—monitoring my whereabouts. The only thing I wanted at that moment was to feel a modicum bit better. Maybe if I _looked_ a little more like myself I might not feel so glum. It's truly amazing how many times I can set myself up, only to be deplorably shot down.

No more than three minutes had winded by before my guard returned with a blanket that pained my already sore head to look upon. It was bright pink and even the stitches that held it together were of an even gaudier pink thread.

The guard tossed it to my counter. "Here you go."

"This isn't red," I said. "This is as far away from red as I could hope to imagine."

"I know," he replied. "But it's the only color Princess Celestia would give. She said it's the color of friendship."

I scooped up a batch of the painful cloth and held it up to him. "You know what else this color is of?"

"What?"

"Defeat."

Then I threw it to the floor.

REGARDING MY SUPERVISOR

As if my lone guard wasn't enough to keep my butt in the only seat they'd given me, my second day on the job I was met with another member of the guard—a higher ranking one, I was told (although I have yet to believe it). His name has something to do with Sentry and I can't help but get the feeling I give him the creeps. While it _is_ a nice observation to note that I can indeed still instill fear into those around me even without my menacing power, it sadly has not been enough to keep Sentry wholly out of my mane.

After a hasty introduction he decided if I was to direct visiting ponies to differing locations inside Canterlot castle, I should at least know of its many nooks and crannies. I started our short tour keeping step with the blue haired guard, but then slowed to a crawl once I realized I'd only be taken back to my desk once it was all said and done. For close to forty minutes I watched a ceiling-high curtain blow in the outside breeze. "What are you looking at, Sombra?" he had asked, curious if I was up to some new form of villainy. "A fool," I had responded, staring daggers into him. I knew the moment I had said such a blunt observation I had made a mistake. Thirty seconds later I was back in my cell down below, ordered to add the date and other mind-numbing specifics to a number of scrolls that were to go directly to Princess Celestia. After eating the first few dry pages in pure defiance, my original guard aided by Sentry positioned themselves on either sides of my chair.

It seemed I wasn't being as friendly as some had hoped.

REGARDING NOTORIETY

It didn't take all that long for most of Equestria to discover what had happened to their dead King from the north. Upon discovery that I was being reintegrated into the world, most of the majority were more than pleased I was being put to use instead of spending tax payer bits lulling around in Tartarus. (I wouldn't agree with that, but that's just me.) At first the influx of curious gawkers annoyed me to no end, and for a good portion of the time I'd only brood in my seat while my guard or Something Sentry would fend off their questions or queries. A few even brought flashing boxes that I was told captured a likeness of oneself on a slip of shiny paper. Although I'd never admit to such pandering, I nevertheless turned my head to the right a bit to capture what I'd always considered my better side. (But neither half of my face are half bad.)

A few days of this treatment later and I found the need to break the silence. It was too weird to be stared at and not understand why. Most just wanted to hear me speak and I was—_oddly_—happy to oblige. When was the last time I'd actually spoken to a crowd? My usual rhetoric used to spew forth to thousands in my Crystal home and even then I'd wonder where the other thousands had hid. The foyer of the Canterlot castle could hold anywhere between thirty and fifty guests, and yet it felt like much more. For a time I answered questions regarding my job and current predicament, but soon I felt it only fitting to comment on the elephant in the castle.

"What Celestia has told you about me are nothing but false injustices," I started, unaware how fast my guard and Something Sentry could move once prodded. "I have no intention of befriending Equestria one simple tool at a time—I only wait patiently until the moment comes to strike. Enjoy the tranquil view of the beast for now, my fools, because once out from your simpleton of a ruler's hoof, I won't hesitate pealing the skin from your children's—"

_Phhtph!_

Suddenly I tasted floor. And blood. And now all four of my legs were being pulled behind my back, even when I didn't think they were supposed to bend that way. "_Owwww!_" I yelled to the ground, even though no one seemed to be listening.

While my guard more or less sat atop of me, holding me in place, Something Sentry regarded the rest of the room. "Sombra apologizes for the comments he's just made. It's been a long day and—"

"_No I don't!_" I yelled through bloodstained teeth. That was when my guard shifted his weight towards my head, smashing my muzzle into the dirty floor behind my counter. Having been tasked with cleaning the area every few days, I had no one to blame but myself when an entire lint ball got sucked up my nose.

"And Sombra will be taking the rest of the day off," he finished, a wonderful amount of unease in his voice. _Oops,_ I had mused on that pleasant day. _Someone's day just got a bit more interesting_.

REGARDING PURPLE ALICORNS

It was my third day in that pit called a job when my tormentor threw another knife into my gut. Even if Celestia would never dare mention of such a ploy, I had no notions of why a certain little purple alicorn would suddenly visit unless under orders. Regardless, she played a good game.

"You look bored," she told me, when she must have grown tired of watching me stare through her as though she didn't exist. "You want to help me with a crossword puzzle?"

It was weird to hear a glass door talk with such directness and sense of self but I ignored it anyways. Sadly, she did not give me the same level of courtesy.

"You want to help me with a crossword puzzle?" she asked again.

It was clear she had nothing else to do that day.

I said, "I don't know what that is and I wouldn't want to either."

This did not lead to the outcome I had foreseen.

"Great! Then I'll teach you!"

From somewhere beyond my vision she plucked out a thin book that she set on my desk. A well-worn page held an image of dozens of boxes, some darkened and some left open, others with letters filling them. Underneath were lines of questions in organized columns.

"We'll take turns," she said, genuinely invested. "I'll answer a question and then you'll do one—and we'll see if we can finish it! These are fun ways to pass the time, you know."

"I was doing fine on my own, purple pony," I tell the remarkably interesting glass door behind her head. I mumble to myself, "I was doing _a lot_ of things fine on my own without you lot of alicorns…"

The purple one scowled at me. "You'll never make friends that way, Sombra."

"Then mission accomplished," I spat back.

She rolled her eyes and viewed her word game. "Down, eight letter word, creator of the wind chime." She tapped her quill against her chin for a moment before filling in her answer. "Easy, it's Songbird." She paused. "All right, now yours. I'll try and find the easiest one. Okay, this is pretty simple. Across, eleven letters, aerial relay team from Cloudsdale. Sombra?"

"Songbird," I said.

"That was the answer to the last one."

"Was it? Let's try 'Celestia.' I know she enjoys it when ponies say her name repeatedly, even when she's not around."

"That's not even eleven letters." A hint of irritation had finally entered her voice.

"Then let's try '_the_ Celestia.' Much better."

The alicorn then slammed her book to the counter. "You know we're only trying to help you with all this."

I leaned back in my chair, enjoying the luxurious view of annoyed small alicorn. "You should not help what never asked to be helped in the first place, pony. You can't change what is in a villain's true nature."

"So you're telling me you started evil the moment you entered Equestria?"

"Yes. And if you were wise you'd either give me back my magic or silence me forever, because nothing you do or say can sway what I plan on doing to you all once given the opportunity. You awoke a sleeping dragon that was meant to slumber forever, and then you decided to try and remove his fire and claws and get him to do some yard work. But I'm afraid it doesn't work that way."

She shook her head at me. "Discord would disagree."

I exhaled loudly. "Oh, yes. The first of the reformations. Since I have yet to see him I can only assume he's not actually allowed in public—if he even _exists_ at all. I can only wonder about the horrors you've all done to him; the years of abuse. How much of a working brain does he even have left?"

"I don't know how much of a brain Discord ever started with, but I know he's capable of having a heart. It was Celestia's idea to have him reformed and it's hers that brought you back to life—twice. I trust her and to an extent I'll need to trust you." She slid her letter game towards me forcefully. "Twenty-six down, six letters. You should know this one." Then she left without her book.

For awhile I thought of flinging it against the wall like the pink blanket they had tried to dress me in before, but a small thread of curiosity brought me back to that damned fine print. After hurting my eyes searching near the bottom of the page, I eventually found the question she had mentioned.

Six letters: Overthrown ruler of the Crystal Empire. From other answer was already filled in. Using my quill I answered the rest, before hastily adding "KING" right before it, covering close to half the page in splotchy script. Then I flung it to the floor.

I had never felt as hollow as at that moment.


	3. Chapter 3: Regarding Draconequus'

REGARDING A CERTAIN DRACONEQUUS

Weeks into my abysmal rehabilitation, I heard word that Discord was set to visit the castle and speak with both Princesses. What all about, I honestly couldn't care—I was only interested in meeting the first specimen that had undergone aversive friendship-therapy. If my own plight underneath the overbearing white alicorn told me a single thing about their _process_, I expected a creature of scars and sorrow wrapped in chains to silently trudge through my doors, before being led to the upper chambers for continued evaluation. I wanted to see the tears weep from his eyes and his nose to run down his chin. I wanted to see his very essence on display and I wanted it to be _shattered_ beyond repair. More than anything I wanted the tales I had been told by the mouths of treacherous alicorns to prove false and in the most severe of degrees. But perhaps most of all I finally wanted to feel connected to someone again—not only the _illusion_ of it. Dozens of times each day, another pony would approach me in the vane attempt at small talk that more often than not ended in, "You know, if you ever need anyone to talk to…" Oddly enough, I never did. Perhaps what irked me the most about such unnecessary wastes of oxygen was that none of them _actually_ had the slightest interest in myself as a pony. It was evident in the way they looked at me—the way the edges of their smiles dipped when trying to engage me in the delicate art of small talk. While I don't believe for an instant they were sent directly from Celestia herself, I have no doubt they would like nothing more than to be the one that reformed the great villain known as King Sombra. Oh the parties they would attend… The mares or the stallions that would flaunt to their suddenly famous sides…

Heroes might find solace in spending their days together; villains should remain as distant as they can. We should respect each other and the gifts that make us who we are, but an elegance of villainy would only end when a single one of them thought they were somehow better than the rest.

I _know_ I am better than most. But that doesn't mean I can't be merciful when the mood strikes me. And that was exactly why on the morning of Discord's visit I sat patiently behind my desk, sharpening my latest quill between the corner of my counter and my hardened hoof.

"You need a new quill, Sombra?" my friendly guard had asked as he watched me work.

"No thank you, Bolt," I said, still focused on the task. "I'll make good use of this one."

I didn't need to look up to see the rush of blood enter the stallion's face. Whether it was from the fact that I had grown suddenly polite in the last few hours or that I _somehow_ knew his name, I didn't investigate. What else was there to do behind an immovable desk than eavesdrop on the latest Canterlot gossip?

Nearing the end, when the fine point on my quill became sharp to the touch, I almost whistled in delight. Gifted with having the natural voice of boulders falling over rocks, I can at best hit two lower resister notes that work well together. Thankfully this was short lived as I looked up to find the oddest of sights pleasantly stroll through my doors.

"Hello all!" it said. "Did you miss me?"

Bearing the various limbs of an array of differing creatures, it didn't take myself long to know I was staring at the first reformed villain of them all. The only problem was that he wasn't what I had expected. No entourage of guards followed his every step; no shackles and chains weighed his heavy heart closer to the ground; no scars or burns or lacerations of any sort speckled his body from his constant beatings. Worst of all, his expression was not one of distorted character, but one of simple pleasure. Could this really have been the villain I had been excited to meet? The sole reason I had wasted my good quill and half of my morning? And then another notion took hold.

"He's acting," I whispered to myself (a more and more reoccurring phenomenon in the work place).

I watched as he snapped his fingers, instantly changing the colors of every guard outfit in the room. After laughing at the idiotic sight, he unhooked his head to spin on one finger.

"Or he's lost it completely," I reflected, unsurprised. How many times had a prisoner in my own dungeons lost their mind after hours of 'persistent' questioning?

With his other hand, the draconequus stopped his rotating head and a layer of avid interest filled his face. He had noticed me and was coming over, returning his head back to his neck with an audible pop.

The tall creature leaned a little too forward on the counter. "Tall, dark, and mediocre at best. _You_ must be Sombra!"

I spent a long while gazing up at the lithe villain. My original plans with the quill hastily disappearing from mind. While I had little hope of escaping from the friendship loop (considering death wasn't even an option anymore), I thought there still might be time for the original friendship slave to finally receive his pardon. With a lucky strike I would jab my sharpened quill through his jugular, then watch him crash to the floor as his lifeblood stained the entryway carpets. If I could, I would kneel by his side as tears of joy would spill from his eyes. I would take his hand and he would say, "Thank you," to the one villain that had saved him from his never-ending sorrows. His trip down the horrific road of friendship would come to an end and I would spend the rest of my days feeling better for releasing the poor soul from this world. Or… that was the original plan.

When I didn't reply, the draconequus huffed and knocked on my desk. "Hello in there? I heard you weren't much of a talker but you could at least _blink_ once in a while!"

This wasn't what I had expected at all. If it was an act, it was a good one. His eyes nor his mouth never twitched in hidden anguish; he never silently mouthed out the words, "Help me!" or even bothered to slip me a note detailing his latest scheme to wipe out every alicorn in the land. It was almost as if… as if he was somehow _happy_ to be free of scheming. Free of the burdens of all around nastiness and villainy. But for that to be true, that would mean Celestia had been right by reforming him. If _that_ were the case, then where did that leave me exactly?

While pondering the many questions of the universe, Discord had grown bored of the solemn stallion and instead made his own version of fun—something I didn't think was all that humorous at all. With his pointy eagle's claw he snapped off the very tip of my muzzle and hid it in his armpit. As much as I did not wish to inhale such noxious fumes, the urgency for air came quickly and swift.

"_Now_ I've got your attention!" he yelled as he tap-danced around the entryway, holding tight to my severed muzzle somewhere close to his ample bosom.

Two minutes following that injustice he returned my snout to my face and informed me that I should 'lighten up.' Two minutes following _that_, I crossed out the first name on my list and added "DISCORD THE DRACONEQUUS", completely upending any semblance of flow it had going for it.

Have I not mentioned my list?

REGARDING MY LIST

Long before I started this little journal of sorts, I had created a long list of individual parties that were slowly but surely going to find themselves in very painful situations sometime in the future. If it took a year or ten or a thousand and more, I had solemnly made a promise to myself to cross out each and every one of them from it. If I had to do so while standing atop their graves knowing the ravages of age had claimed their lives before I had gotten to them, I would curse the very mound of soil that kept them from me. Then I would do something to their space of earth that I won't mention here and go drink more liquids before moving on to the next. It's only too bad that creature of many limbs and colors had to go and mess with my order. For now I'll merely mention what was originally written.

The rules of the list were simple at first. Spots one and two were always to be filled by Princess Celestia.

1. Princess Celestia

2. Princess Celestia

The reasons I had listed her twice were indeed straightforward. I had planned to kill her and then I planned on stuffing her body before killing the stuffed version of Celestia all over again. Depending on time and depending on the state of said stuffed Celestia, this could have been a reoccurring event. But I digress.

3. Princess Luna

When I first wrote the list, I had categorized both Celestia and Luna into the same position. They governed this world together, why should they not exit it the same? (I'm very thoughtful sometimes when it comes to things like this.) Yet recent events have pushed her down a ways. Events that will be addressed in due time.

4. Princess Cadence

I have no overwhelming animosity towards Cadence, because I barely even knew of her before all this began, but there was no way she was not going to make the list and be very near the top. If she hadn't swept through the air like some aerial sports object thrown by her husband, I might potentially not have been defeated at all. It's hard to say what could have happened on that day if events had turned out different. I won't add Gleaming Armor or whatever his name is because I'm sure if I try and take on Cadence, he'll naturally come with the territory. The only question that will matter is which will watch the other perish first? I think I'll decide on the day.

5. Princess Twilight Sparkle

There's not a lot I can say about her besides she has one too many titles in her name and sometimes uses larger words in conversation than necessary. Plus she's purple. And somehow since the last time I remember viewing her, she got wings. Is that something Celestia does now? Rewarding ponies with wings? Maybe if I'm good enough I'll be given a pair and could fly right out of this castle. Sure. Just like maybe I won't watch a little foal slip on the recently polished floor and laugh off my seat. Anything's possible.

6. Something Something Sentry

For reasons.

7. Pink Pegasus With Orange Mane Bordering On Vermillion And Persimmon Who Asked Where The Stairs Were Three Times And Yet Couldn't Seem To Find Them

That's the trouble with working at a counter that aggravatingly sees hundreds of ponies a day. Although they don't seem to know just how idiotic their questions might seem, they are indeed _very_. List entry seven through three-hundred and four consists of individuals I've encountered while burdened here. Sadly, very few are willing to give me their names once I retrieve my lengthened scroll from underneath my desk and scowl at them with every sharp tooth available. But those that _do_ are positioned lower than the ones I have to later describe in monotonous detail. Thankfully I've never been one to forget a face.

REGARDING ALARM CLOCKS

In all my time spent as King of the Crystal Empire I had never experienced such an odd contraption. I was rectangular in shape and on its front it held all the hands and numbers of a standard clock. That is what I thought that first night, when I was led to my small room complete with small bed and small bathroom, now occupied by a small creature that used to resemble a King.

When my head hit the soft pillow that first night, I had blacked out almost instantly. A piece of me thought perchance I was still in some dream within a dream, and that if I slept in _that_ dream, I'd eventually wake up. Or in the very least find a better dream to get lost in. What ended up happening was the horrendous sound of thousands of bees horrifically shocked by electricity—only inches from my ears. Every quarter-second it blared its booming tone, shocking me out of bed and onto the floor, where I then found the source of the noise.

With clumsy hoofs I went to work finding its means of power, but found no cord to hank on. With my weakened limbs I smashed on its top and soon the jarring noise came to a stop. Then I finally noted what time it was.

6:00 A.M.

In my Crystal kingdom I rarely troubled myself with keeping track of time. A King made his own time and when he awoke the day would begin. When he would lay his opulent head back down on his opulent bed, then that would only mean the day had permanently come to a close. It was clock work, really.

The next noise to jostle me came from outside my door.

"One hour, Sombra!"

I didn't need to ask what he meant by that; one hour until my duty as Canterlot receptionist resumed unabated. In my warm room I shivered and felt naked all over again. No cape. No crown. And finally feeling stripped of a good chunk of dignity.

The next morning I awoke a few minutes before my alarm and set my hoof above its menacing top. An instant after it began to scream its siren song I pounced on it, silencing one in a long line of adversaries. Over the weeks I have tried to uncover just how to undo whatever setting had been placed on it, but my cumbersome hooves have only been able to fumble the odd beast until it falls from my grasp. I don't dare waste any of the day's magic trying to break it open.

Bigger things were always in the works.

REGARDING REHABILITATION

If my stoic state behind the desk of incumbency wasn't enough of an ordeal in itself, my weekends had to be spent in forced "friendship seminars." It was all as pathetic as you might imagine—that is if you imagine eight or so "villains" circled around in a group, discussing what exactly _made_ them do what they had done before realizing other options had always been available to them. For the first two weekends I had remained silent and motionless in my thin chair, mentally figuring if any of these so-called baddies could potentially be trusted with a clever ruse or an attempted escape. It took less than a minute before I mentally outclassed every single one of them. I think Celestia had been going overboard.

"My name is Mr. Cake and I—"

"_Hi Mr. Cake!_"

"And I… and I…" the earth pony stammered out.

Already tears were shimmering in both eyes. My original thought had been murder most foal but it ended up as something else entirely.

"And I… _stole a cake recipe_!"

I collapsed from non-interest and watched the other members of the group encircle the poor creature and envelope him in a hug. Even though I had been drained of my magic and much of my strength, I still thought I could out maneuver any possible physical affection coming my way.

When the list of names ran down and I became last to "vent" my negativity, I begrudgingly fixed them all a stare and crossed both forelegs over my chest. At the time I wasn't all that great at caring and sharing.

"I won't bother with introductions," I began, "because I think everyone here already knows of what I've done—what I've accomplished in my time. Before I was forcefully stripped of my title, I was Sombra, King of the—"

"_Hi King Sombra!_" they unanimously yelled at me.

I choked on pure unfiltered rage while tiny dots danced in my vision. When the lightheadedness went away I continued unperturbed, now crossing one back leg over the other to nullify any possible coming embrace even more.

"While most of you speak of anguished thoughts due to theft or mere troublesome words, or perchance even the lone one of you that has actually brought violence to another, none of you wholly deserve the title of villain. It is something only earned through years of careful craft—_only_ when you can strike fear into the hearts of many from the mere whisper of your name." I licked my lips, my mind flooded with old memories. "In my grandest of days I used to torture and mutilate any pony I thought had deserved it. Sometimes I wanted a confession and other times I wanted nothing more than to hear them scream. I starved and overworked an entire nation until it nearly collapsed. I am sure some must have hoped for its overwhelming destruction, putting an end to both the Empire and my reign over it, but I always knew just when to pull back… and by how much. I watched the tongues of traitors cut out from their mouths and the mouths of those unwilling to unveil the rats in my midst sown shut forever. I've watched more ponies die than you've had the pleasure of befriending in your life—and I plan on continuing just the same, once this _set back_ is straightened out. But for now I will do my best to ignore the rest of you for you are close to nothing to me—a mere stepping stone in a long and grand path. Pray, long and with passion that you do not meet me again when I regain what was taken from me. If you do, I will show all you _villains_ what a real one is supposed to look like."

I glared at every awestruck face before reaching out to the little cookie tray that had been set up in the center of the circle. All that talk (and much of it completely fabricated) had made me famished and in need of sustenance. I chewed loudly, my sharp teeth making quick work of the peanut butter treat. Then I added, "I hear we're supposed to break off into pairs. Who wishes to join with me?"

It seemed none did.

REGARDING THINGS THAT SHOULDN'T ANNOY ME BUT DO

When the purple alicorn left in a huff she forgot to bring her little book of words and crosses with her. After forcing my full title and name into most of the left side, I was still pressed with a half finished game of wits. As a King for hundreds of years I had always enjoyed outsmarting opponents. Whether it be true adversaries or even saboteurs from inside my own kingdom, to learn of their tactics and then wreak havoc upon them had always been a favorite part of my job. Even as I write in this little journal of sorts does my mind swirl with fresh notions of escape. Many are fanciful and a tad on the dreamy side, but if one cuts away at everything that _cannot_ possibly occur they are only left with what can. Or so that's the theory I'm going with.

I started with the question nearest the top. _Adventurous mare of popular book series—eight letters._ I brought my quill to my chin and couldn't think of a single solitary answer. The last book I had recalled reading had been thousands of years ago—more than likely some war text filled with sweet blood and guts that could lull me to sleep. Since when had mares made the transition to books at all? Since when were they popular? The notion of not knowing still bothered me plenty.

"Hey Bolt!" I said to my guard. "Is there some book series that features a mare?"

My guard came awake from his idle stance. "You mean Daring Do?"

I hastily scanned the line and added the two words. When they fit perfectly into place with the other answers I couldn't help but smirk at its simplistic design. Now that only left… several more spaces to go.

"I wouldn't expect a pony like you to know such things, though," Bolt said, once he trotted to my desk. "The series is only a decade or so old. You haven't been around in… what? A thousand years?"

"Give or take a few decades," I mumbled, while I scanned the next question.

"Then you might need to do some research to answer those," he continued. "I can't imagine more than one in a hundred that would involve your old Empire or something related to you. If you want, I could probably talk Celestia into letting you borrow some texts from the archives. I can't see how it would hurt."

I had finished reading the latest question and hadn't the faintest idea of the answer.

Bolt added, "It might help pass the time."

And just like that I had found something to occupy the mindless hours on the job. Just like that I had subdued the monster lurking inside myself that wanted to pounce on every living soul that passed through the castle doors. Sure, it was still there and it would always be hungry and plotting its escape, yet perhaps now it could wait until the day was through and my meaningless job came to an end.

And just like that Twilight Sparkle fell from number five on my list to number thirty-seven.


	4. Chapter 4: Regarding Luna

REGARDING SPARKLY PONIES

It's been truly amazing how many times I can regain my composure and sense of self-worth in my new world, only to have it come toppling back on me. My run in with the "friendly" draconequus should have informed me well enough, but I had always been the headstrong type—more willing to try and try again instead of merely waiting to see what might unfold. Honestly, I should have seen it coming.

Several weeks into my seven A.M. to three P.M. grind, I steadily got accustomed to the monotony of the job. The crowds that came by my desk lessened every day and now the only types that visited me were the ones actually in need of assistance. I gave them directions (sometimes helpful ones, otherwise they'd only come back) and then sent them on their way. I kept it minimal and I dealt with it so I could get back to my latest word puzzle. After Twilight had left that first half-finished one, I visited Canterlot's massive library in search of answers to more than a dozen unanswered questions. Onto a trolley I loaded each text, then made my guard drag them back to my desk. (It wasn't _me_ who took away my powers along with most of my strength.) It took two full work days to uncover the correct answers to the game, and when it was finished I left it facing outward on my counter, to let anyone who might be passing by how much intricate knowledge I still held within. The only one who made comment on it was Twilight, as she visited the castle to speak with her mentor. At first she ignored my station completely, but then she caught sight of my finished page.

She lowered her brows. "You… actually finished that?"

I leaned back in my chair and slid the small tower of texts out from view. "Of course I did."

She held the page closer to her face, searching for something to critique. When she couldn't, she set it back down. She appeared to be contemplating. "Do you want another one?"

I was nearly salivating from the notion. I said indifferently, "If you happen to have more, I'd take a look at them."

From her bag she pulled out another book that she set on my desk. It read "1000 Crosswords for the Quizzical". I couldn't help but stare at what might lay underneath its thin cover.

Twilight caught me glaring. "You had fun with that last one, didn't you?" She smiled. She honestly thought she could read me.

I pursed my lips. "It did away with a few dusty minutes, yes." (Actually, hours and hours.) "But an intellect such as mine has always made short work of such rudimentary, knowledge-based games."

"See, Sombra?" she said, her face brightening. "Doesn't it feel good when someone does something nice for another?"

"I…" I chewed on my tongue. I had nearly forgotten the deplorable state I was in.

"I'm sure you'll be a friend to Equestria in no time," she told me, before trotting away.

I could only watch and then greedily grab the book that was hoofed to me, flipping to its first page loaded with oodles and oodles of unanswered questions. As I got my patient quill poised to strike, the voice that would take whatever wind remained in my sails made itself known.

"So you really _are_ here?"

I lifted my head, ready to bluntly point the latest simpleton in the direction of the library or the restroom, but came to an abrupt halt by the familiar sight. Staring at me was a Crystal pegasus—light blue with a dark blue mane. Specks of silver dotted his entire body, while his eyes went from my unknowing expression to the nametag and shirt I wore.

"Sombra," he said, neither a question nor a statement. "King Sombra."

The sudden appearance of one of my subjects from years passed had always been a notion I had been waiting for. I always thought it would be good to gauge how my Empire was faring under new management. Whatever Crystal pony would visit my little desk, I had expected one of two possible reactions: for them either to flinch at my very gaze and wallow in fear as their thought-dead ruler had somehow been brought back to life, or the exact opposite of that. For heavy reasons I wanted them to curse my very soul and spit in my face. I wanted them to call me every name in the book and—if things _really_ went well—I wanted them to leap over the counter and try and destroy the King that had been meant to die and never return. At least in those regards I would have been reminded of my past life—when I was a villain of worth and the very earth shook when I decided it should. I had wanted to be reminded that what I had done in the past could never be washed away or hidden from sight, and that the only thing Celestia was doing to me was trudging up old horrors that should have been left untouched.

All in all I wanted to feel whole again. _King_ Sombra. Tyrant of the Crystal Empire.

Not K. Sombra the Trainee.

By all accounts I should have known I had only been sent here to fail.

When the Crystal pegasus finished staring me down he took a step back. The sight was welcome, but not his choice of words. "What happened to you?" he asked plainly.

My carefully created hard expression softened at the edges. A deep emptiness entered my gut as the pegasus regarded me with pity… and so much more.

"I was told by my parents what you did to the Empire but could hardly believe it to be true. I had to see you with my own eyes now that you've returned, but I can't believe this is it. Some dark stallion with some extra big horn? My parents must have embellished quite a bit because I can't imagine you ruling or destroying the lives of anyone, let alone an entire Empire."

"No," I said hastily. "I… I did. I was terrible and I was mean and—"

"Maybe the old you," he cut in. "Because I don't know what I see now. Not a King or a ruler or a villain or anything. I don't think you could even pass for a regular pony, either."

I leaned towards him, nearly pleading. "No. No! This is only a setback. I will return and you will remember what I used to be! I was great and _I'm still_ great!" I don't know exactly why I said these words to a stranger that didn't know me at all. Somehow I still felt like I had something to prove.

He shook his head. "No you're not. You're nothing now. Actually, you're less than that. No one fears you and no one would ever respect you enough to call you their friend. I don't know what else to call you but a disappointment."

I watched him leave and then dart into the sky once outside. For the longest time I did nothing at all, before I glanced at the new book Twilight had given me. As excited as I had been to uncover the latest bits of scholarly knowledge to fill up its empty pages, a hole had miraculously been punched in my chest.

I didn't cry then but I did a few days later. And in plain view of one of my greatest adversary.

REGARDING LUNA

Every few weeks I'm asked to stay at my counter during the overnight shift. Considering the castle is closed to the public during these midnight hours, it is a completely pointless exercise. What I quickly surmised was that it must have been another attempt by Celestia to help bridge the gap between nasty, old villains and everyday worker drones. The guards that stood atop the walls of Canterlot castle during the night seemed near the same as the day time crew (_if_ I forgot to mention the darkened color scheme and bat-like wings). The appearance of Luna during these shifts was another noticeable difference.

"Hey**,** Bolt!" I half-whispered, half-yelled to my guard. He was slouched over in his chair, snoozing and nearly drooling around the edges of his hoof. If I was tasked with nightshift duties, that meant he needed to come along regardless. Since I didn't sleep all that much anyways, I could handle the change in routine better than most. It was also welcoming not to be monitored as much as usual. Although there never really _was_ a lot of trouble I could get into, surrounded by locked doors and hundreds of other guards, anyone of which could overpower me with a single leg tied behind their backs.

Luna strolled across my counter, a cup of coffee and scroll raring to go. "Good evening, Sombra," she said, unknowing just how much she could resemble her sister every once in a while. "I can only surmise you are staying away from trouble."

I ignored her uninteresting query and went ahead with my own. Something I had been ruminating on for awhile. "What is it you do around here, Luna? Honestly?"

She lowered her scroll, already on the defensive. "I raise the moon and tend to the dreams of every creature in Equestria. I also share leadership duties with my sister and other alicorns. I also assist when trouble arises and deal with the affairs of nearby lands."

I waited a moment, blew a piece of dirt from my hoof. "What _else_ do you do around here?"

"I…" She huffed. "I already told you, Sombra. And if you're trying to get a rise out of me, you're wasting your time. I won't set you free merely from your lame attempts at goading."

"No, no, no," I said, uninterested. "I don't mean to pry; I'm only trying to pass the time is all. I have a lot of that these days, if you hadn't noticed. I only ask because you mention the words 'trouble' and 'arises' and that you help when those two words occur."

"Of course I do," she blurted. "I've been the protector of this realm for thousands of years, dealing with the likes of you and Discord and hundreds more. My actions have saved the lives of millions throughout the ages."

"_Your_ actions?" I questioned, noticing her expression harden. "Or the actions of Celestia and Cadence and Twilight and those five other multicolored friends of hers?"

"Well, yes," she stammered out. "For the past few years there have been more of us to protect the land, but I'd hardly consider that a bad thing."

"Who said anything about it being a 'bad thing,' Luna? I didn't. But you just did."

She shut her eyes in annoyance. "I haven't had enough midnight coffee for this conversation, Sombra. Help me a bit and get to the point."

I leaned forward, propping my head on a hoof. "Don't you miss the old days, Luna? Not a few weeks ago, but a _thousand_ years ago? Remember when it was just you and your sister versus the adversaries of the world—how the pair of you would vanquish whatever nastiness entered the land? What happened, Luna? You used to be a warrior. Now what are you? A pusher of papers? Some simple diplomat? When was the last time you got your hoofs dirty from the heated encounter of some major villain? Isn't there just a tiny piece of you that wants it all again? Or are you happy Twilight and her friends are around to save the day countless times over? Have you gotten lazy in the past few hundred years, Princess? It would hurt my soul to hear that my greatest nemesis wasn't playing the game anymore."

The coffee cup that had been hovering in the air smashed to the ground. She crossed the distance between us in one great flap of her wings until she was only inches from me. "How _dare_ you insult me in such a way! I have remained the same as I have always been and have aided Twilight and her friends towards victory all for the greater good. I take solace in the fact that good will always triumph over evil, not by who gets to claim they did what and to whom. If I can go to bed knowing that the world is a better place because of my actions—regardless of how large a part I played—I will always sleep soundly and without worry."

Even in the close proximity of the angry blue alicorn, I couldn't help but smile. It was so easy getting under her skin, I had nearly forgotten. "But now Celestia is trying to take away whatever villains you have left. Discord's gone, I'm gone, even recently I read about someone named Tirek that was crushed before he ever got going. If you change every one of your foes into friends, Luna, who will be left to save the world against?"

She said bluntly, "If there were not a single adversary in all of Equestria, I would welcome it openly."

"Would you now?" I asked slowly. "Would you _really_?"

She hesitated before answering. "Of course."

I placed my hoof overtop her own. She could have easily pulled away but didn't. I said, "What if I could give you one last fight for the ages, Luna? Between you and I or with your sister, too. Remember our great battle together, a thousand years ago? Was _that_ not a tale worth remembering for all times? What is exactly saving Equestria these days, hmm? Rainbows? Friendship? I thought you were above such theatrics." I pulled her hoof closer to my chest, my eyes unblinking. "Give me back my powers, Luna, and I will give you the greatest villain you could ever want. Give me time to get things in place and you could show the world again just why you sit atop the highest throne of them all. I don't even need to win, Luna. I can accept defeat as long as it's worthy of me. All that I ask is once I die is that you leave me dead—stop all this friendship nonsense once and for all. Can you not see how this would only benefit us both? You get to show everyone that Twilight isn't the only savior they have left while I get to reclaim what was taken from me—become a King again and die with dignity like I had before you took it away from me. That's all I want, Luna. While I would love to see you and your sister burn in a hundred pieces in a hundred different fires, I can settle with the blankness of a final rest, as long as I can be the King I've always known I've been."

Luna listened to every word I said and I could barely tell what—if anything—took hold. Finally her expression softened and she averted her eyes.

"Celestia would never go for such a thing."

"Then you do it on your own! You blame someone else for my escape!"

She shook her head. "She would never believe such a thing. Only one of the four alicorns can grant you back your powers, and each of us only holds a quarter of that. If you thought I would be the one to set you free, Sombra, you were wrong. I cherish the memories of days past, but I cherish the wonderful world my sister and I have created more. You will not get your final fight from me."

As the thoughts of what that Crystal pegasus had told me days prior rolled around in my head, I heard the oddest of sounds patter to my desk. Drips of water were rolling down from my cheeks and gathering in a small circle close to my leg. I couldn't stop them if I tried.

Luna hastily scooped up her hoof and took a step back. "What are you doing?" she asked awkwardly.

"What do you _think_ I'm doing!" I yelled at her. "I'm crying, you selfish alicorn! You've taken everything from me and all I want is for it to stop and none of you will let that happen! I didn't ask for this and I don't think that it's right of you to force it on me!"

"How do you think your thousands of Crystal slaves felt?"

"Oh _spare_ me the irony, Luna!" I spat. "I deserve better! I deserve validation for my years of hard _villainous_ work! And now all you're doing is ruining whatever small thread of credibility I once held to. I ask you, Luna: what _am I_ anymore? I'm not a villain. I'm damn sure not anyone's friend, even though you've all tried. So _what_ does that leave me as? It leaves me as some failed experiment that won't work right and for some reason won't die! You alicorns are the real monsters here and you're all too full of yourselves to understand when one of your plans doesn't work. You think Discord's truly reformed? Bah! You're all fooling yourselves!"

I crumpled to my desk and covered my leaking face with both legs. I shuddered from the outpouring—hours and days and weeks of pent up anguish unloading all at once. Was that what rock bottom felt like? Or do I still have a ways to go?

"Sombra."

I ignored the alicorn.

"Sombra, look at me."

"No. Go away. You've done enough." I had regressed to a foal and hadn't even realized it yet.

"Look at me, please."

Through blurry eyes I eventually peered up and already something thin and blue was coming towards me. A hard object hit the side of my head and nearly toppled me from my chair. I grabbed at my pained face and viewed the alicorn in shock. "That hurt!"

"Good," she said. "I don't ever want to see you crying again. It is perhaps the scariest sight I've ever seen—villains aren't supposed to cry."

I hurriedly wiped at my messy muzzle. "So you still consider me a villain?"

"I…" she began. "I'm not sure what you are anymore, honestly. But that's not up for me to decide. Only you can figure out what you want to be, Sombra. You want to continue being some nasty enemy of Equestria forever, then go right ahead. Celestia will more than likely not sway from her original plan and only come down on you harder. I think she sees you as the biggest target of all and believes if you can be swayed, than anyone can. Tough love, I would call it. Or in this case, tough friendship. You may not be a King anymore but you still might find you can be something else in this world. That's up to you."

With her horn she gathered the remains of her coffee cup to dump in the trash, then she turned back to me. "If I catch you crying again I'm going to hit you so hard we'll need to resurrect you again. A King is supposed to be above such things."

Then she was out the door and up in the air, more than likely already fixing the lazy moon in the sky. I had wanted to come back as a villain and exit this life the way I had lived. I could tell Luna wouldn't have minded such an adventure yet too many strings came attached with it.

Despite my best efforts the friendship machine would grind on.


	5. Chapter 5: Regarding Pranks

REGARDING CONTINUED REHABILITATION

"You know I could eat you," was the first thing I said to the blue magician that had been paired with me. After I had said such a blunt introduction, she had lowered herself into her little cape until I could barely see her eyes. I had heard she was one of the first villains to be brought back to the world glimpsing rainbows and sunshine. I had also heard something else.

"Others call you great and powerful," I said. "Is this true?" When she did not budge from her thin fortress of blue cloth and stars, I rolled my eyes and added, "I'm not really going to eat you. I'd imagine ponies to be tough and stringy. Plus they move around too much."

Eventually I coxed her out of her shell and she told me about her stage act. It sounded like a bore—an hour and a bit of tricks that would barely entertain a newborn. Yet I listened to it all with rapt attention. It had been months since I had been cruelly stripped of my powers, and even the mere mention of magic nibbled at my damaged psyche. When she believed to have won me over as I asked varying questions about her show, she unveiled a deck of cards that she effortlessly levitated from hoof to hoof and around her head. I followed each card not from interest but from longing. This reformed villain right before me could spin cards with the aid of her gifts and I'd been reduced to barely moving a quill with my horn. It was times like these that I wondered what would happen should I eventually cave and cross over to the other side. Would it honestly be as horrible as I'd imagined? Were these individuals that I spent every weekend with not making the best of their situation? Granted the luxuries of every request they could want, all because they finally succumbed to the deathly poison of friendship?

"Why did you change?" I asked her as she spun her cards around. "You weren't bad. You took pride in yourself and let others know it. You were fooled by a device that you thought could only help you in your quest—validate your position as a worthy pony of tricks and illusions. It was not your fault things didn't work out as they should."

"Well, it kind of just happened to Trixie," she said, before she organized her deck and then glanced around hastily. Obviously I'd stepped into a topic she hadn't been prepared to speak about. "When Trixie wore that amulet, I thought that what I was doing was right. And then when it was taken from Trixie, and when I was forgiven by everyone, it just felt right, I guess."

"That's not a good enough answer," I told her. "You had not been yourself and before you even knew what was happening to you, everyone around you decided to be your friend without even asking if you wanted them to. _Something_ made you accept. _Something_ made you stay the way you are. _Something_ made you enjoy the company of others, and I want to know what it was."

Trixie looked downcast, fiddling with her overlarge hat. "It's hard to put it into words, but when it happens it only feels right. Trixie had been alone for so long and had built up so much anger and resentment for practically everyone around her. When it was lifted and Trixie found that others accepted her for who she was and everything else, Trixie decided to embrace it. There's warmth to it. Before then, Trixie always felt cold—even when she was in her full costume."

I sat in silence for a time. While I couldn't fully understand what she had been trying to get across, the thing that stuck with me most was the mentioning of her "costume." I wore a cape and crown not because I wished to dress differently from others, only because it was what a King was supposed to do. Those garments had empowered me. _Fulfilled_ me. I had worn them with pride but they were never what made me who I was. Yet neither did the silly dress shirt they made me wear, nor the nametag stuck to my chest.

"Show me another trick," I asked of her.

REGARDING PRANKS

It was during another one of my endless and listless night shifts that I caught sight of a wayward Twilight Sparkle wondering the Canterlot halls. My guard had been snoozing for some time now and I let him sleep on. Something Sentry hadn't been around in a while and every second without his bluish mane entering the corner of my vision was enough to dance over. (I don't dance, though.)

"You know they get harder the further back in the book you go."

I had my head buried in a new text, viciously searching for the latest answer to a new crossword. By that point I had been almost three-quarters through with her book, and even the very thought of reaching its end tugged at my need to see things through until their conclusion.

I looked up. "I'm noticing. Will you give me a new one once I'm done with this one?"

"If you've been good, I might. I hear you're making headway with the other villains in group."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't call them villains. More like one-timers. None of them have led a full life of it."

Twilight stepped closer to my counter and I finally noticed her tired, red eyes as well as the blush in both cheeks. She must have been rubbing at her eyes recently—although this wasn't a topic that concerned me.

"Why are you up this late?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, swaying from hoof to hoof. Clearly she was trying to eat up some time. "I came here to Canterlot to visit someone and now… I don't know how much I want to see them right this moment."

I raised a brow. "One of the Princesses?"

She shook her head. "I'd rather not talk about it."

I let it go and lifted the latest puzzle I was working on. Since I had only started minutes prior, the entire page was nearly empty. "You want to help me with this?"

At that she smiled, and oddly enough it didn't pain me to see it. "I'll help you get the books but I won't give you the answers. If that stack of texts is any indication…"—she eyed my growing pile of tomes sitting at the corner of my desk—"…you'll need some new ones."

I returned the smile, making sure not to show a single tooth. (I was told in rehabilitation it looked better that way.)

While my guard counted leaping Luna's in his dreams, Twilight and I went to the archives in search of new books. After making me return each of my old ones (she was still a stickler for organization and all around neatness), she reviewed my latest word game and scribbled down eight new books I needed to take a look at. Since I'd been at the archives almost every day for the past few weeks, I made short work of the list. That was until a book sat far beyond my reach and even that of the slide ladder below.

Without a word Twilight flew up and scooped the dusty text before dropping it down to me. Only problem was she had done so without mentioning what she was planning on doing. If I had looked up, its heavy cover would have smacked me squarely in the face. Since I was glancing at another book, it instead bludgeoned itself onto my elongated horn, the first eighty pages or so now complete with a suspicious hole by its center.

Before she even landed Twilight was already giggling. When I gave up trying to remove it and then left the archives with the damn book still stuck to my head, she was nearly in tears. Since I might burn this journal once I've come to some conclusion, it won't hurt me to write that I didn't much mind such the sound.

"Do you trust me, Twilight?" I asked her out of the blue, once we'd exhausted another book from all of its finite knowledge. "You said before that you'd need to trust me for things to work, and now I'm curious if you do."

She hesitated before answering. "I… do. You've made progress. Not as fast as Celestia might have hoped, but I would still consider it progress." She added weakly, "The number of death threats has gone down substantially."

I mumbled, "That's only because I've run out of good terms… but I digress. If you trust me, would you help me with something?"

Now she _more_ than hesitated. "I won't help you escape, Sombra. So don't even ask."

I sighed. "Is that _all_ anyone thinks I do around here? I'm not that much of a caricature, am I? No. No, that's not what I want. Since I've started these overnight shifts, Luna has been pulling jokes on me. While I don't consider them funny, for some reason she does."

Twilight looked a little surprised. "Luna pulling jokes? That doesn't seem like her."

"What else is she going to do during the long hours of the night? And I didn't say they were _good_ jokes—more like attempts. Once she took a page from one of my books and turned it into a paper airplane that she flew around my head before crashing into my mane. Another time she stuck a nail to my seat and I didn't notice until I sat down."

"You saw her do the nail one?"

I shrugged. "No. But who else works during the night and has a begrudging disposition of me?"

Twilight looked pained. "Well, actually a lot of—"

I shoved my hoof to her mouth. "Please don't answer that. Just trust me for once. It will be completely safe and no one will get hurt. And it will only take a moment."

The change in her expression told me I had finally worn her down.

REGARDING UNSUCCESSFUL PRANKS

Asking was the easy part. Seeing it through was where things got a tad tense.

If what Luna had told me from before held any merit, each of the four alicorns had a nice chunk of my original power somewhere inside them. All I wanted from Twilight that night was a small slice to one-up the blue alicorn that had made me sit on a rubber donut for close to a week. It might surprise you to hear, but this wasn't actually an attempt at escape at all. The amount of power I would have claimed from Twilight might have been enough to knock over some feeble guards, but I seriously doubt much more than that.

"I'm sorry, Sombra, but I don't know if I can."

"Don't you want to trust me, Twilight?" I tried to summon my "friendship" face. I had been practicing in rehabilitation and in the mirror over the last few days, working on small muscles in my face I never knew existed. "It would be rather… friendly of you."

Bemused, she tightened her jaw. "I'd only give you a little, Sombra. If you try anything bad, I'd snatch it back up before you even knew what hit you."

"_Now_ who's making threats, Princess?"

Twilight scowled at me. "Don't say that. I _hate_ that title."

I waited for her to finally lend me some of my magic. Awkwardly—and due to my height on her—she asked me to kneel beside her, where she touched her horn against mine. A second later a rush of dark colors flashed across my vision and each nerve thrummed with the energy that had passed along to me. I had been bordering on tired before that moment, but now I was charged—now I was _renewed_. My original plans of a harmless prank sank to the floor as I felt that small bit of magic course its way through me. When I looked at Twilight, who was viewing me with growing unease, I was silently reminded that however much magic I had been given would still never be enough.

"Go and call Luna in and then I'll surprise her," I said.

"What are you planning on doing?"

"Surprising her."

"That…" Twilight stopped to rub at her temple. "Don't make me regret this, Sombra."

"I think everyone will get a good laugh from it," was the last thing I said before no one laughed for a while.

Let's try something different, dear reader. We've heard from my point of view now for far too long, so why not try it from someone else's? I won't ask anyone to actually write in this thing, because I really don't expect anyone to ever get hold of it, but let's see if I can _imagine_ what might have gone on in someone else's head during my well thought-out practical joke. And remember now: humor is subjective.

I, Princess Luna, glorious ruler of the night and all things blue hear word that Princess Twilight Sparkle wishes to partake in the act of cookies and tea. Since I am stern royalty, I trot from the sky as fast as I can in search of such scrumptious treats. Tea drinking has helped solve most problems in the world, I reflect, because I obviously have nothing better to think about.

After I land and enter the doors to the castle (all the while _somehow_ the moon doesn't explode or go away or drop… perhaps implicating that my job is meaningless and that I should try something more valuable with my time like woolgathering) I am hit with the most horrible of sights. "No! How? Oh please no!" I scream.

My sister of over a thousand years lies splayed out along the marble floor. Her throat has been ripped open and the blood collects in a thick puddle surrounding her. The cause of such horror merely sits in the congealing crimson pool, bits of my sister still dripping from his muzzle. Sombra, the brash, handsome stallion that I had always thought he was stares back at me, pulling his wet lips into a grin. He says something but I refuse to hear it over my own anguish. I lunge towards him because I'm idiotic like that and still refuse to hear what he says. It sounds a lot like, "Fooled you!" but again… I'm very idiotic sometimes.

Instead of pause and question the suave beast about how and why he did such a thing, I instead ram my long and sharp horn through his eye socket, taking his left eye to the back of his skull and right through to the other side. A torrent of blood flows from the new hole in the back of his head, drenching and tangling Sombra's immaculate mane that I secretly wish he'd tell me how he kept so velvety. But as I pull myself away from his suddenly limp body, does the vision of my deceased sister snap away, leaving instead a pristine marble floor now littered with the cooling body of King Sombra. Only then does it come to light just how funny his joke was. I do not laugh or ever tell him what I thought of it, but I confess it to be the greatest practical joke of all time. I only regret that I'm sometimes idiotic and react without thinking coherently.

Over a minute later, a wide-eyed Twilight emerges from the reception desk, hoof already covering mouth. Together we carry the stately villain up to my sister's room, where we resurrect him once again.

It seems none of us alicorns can ever learn our lessons.


	6. Chapter 6: Regarding Paper Crowns

REGARDING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Someone new had entered my rehabilitation group and I found myself forced to sit with all my legs covering every removable part of me.

Discord the draconequus sat pleasantly in his little seat, uncaring that he was practically derailing any such progress any pony had of making that day. He had never been there before and I highly doubt he was invited or asked to join. No. It was obvious why he was there, as his mismatched eyes would time and time again close in on mine. My simmering hate towards the creature had cooled immensely since our first encounter, yet I felt it only rise all over again with each invested stare.

He raised his paw into the air. "Is it time for pairs yet?" he asked our moderator, a large bluish bull that somehow kept everyone mostly in line.

"Not until three," he told him, uncaring if he was new or not. "Until then it's group discussion."

Discord rolled his eyes inside their sockets until they came back around. Then he eyed the wall clock that read 2:15. With a silent snap he flipped it a minute before three. Then his eerie eyes found mine again, as I covered my snout and other valuable appendages.

"It's three, Mr. Moderator," he chirped.

"It is?" The bull eyed the clock and shrugged. "All right, I need a break anyways. Split up and get talking. Remember the group motto everyone: there's good in us all, but only if we choose to find it."

Ponies barely left their seats before Discord snapped himself behind me. Without asking, he lifted me up and set me down in another chair facing him. Even though I called Discord a walking clown on more than a hundred occasions since first viewing him, I had never been as scared sitting in close proximity to someone.

He tried to put me at ease with a smile. Baring a single fang along his thin wrinkled face, I quickly understood why villains practiced on "friendship" versions.

"Don't be scared, friend," he said. "I'm only here to help."

I didn't shift my legs from my face.

"I won't remove any part of your body, Sombra. That had only been a joke. And from what I hear you're not very good at them either."

He hardly knew of the powers I could weld if prompted, sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day. I could outwait him into eternity and my butt would barely cross over to numb.

His smile faded. "If you don't talk to me I'll just take away your legs and then I'll have access to the rest of you. Seriously, Sombra, I'm only here to converse."

Slowly, painfully, I relented and viewed the misshaped thing. "Did Celestia send you to me?"

"Nope. She doesn't know I'm here at all."

"Then why are you here?"

"To talk to _you_, silly Billy!" He edged his chair closer to mine. I retreated back an inch before a wall halted my escape. "Since you're a _friend_ of Equestria now, I figure you and I should become palls."

"I'd rather be friends with a rock. They don't talk as much."

"You should meet Maud."

"Who?"

He waved a hand. "Never mind. We're getting sidetracked." He hastily checked around for anyone close. Coming away with nothing, he said, "You're being a fool not accepting what the Princesses are giving you."

"What?" I had not seen that coming at all. "Admit defeat just like that? Who do you think I am? I'm a King! I won't be destroyed by a few mere months of annoyance and stale rehabilitation cookies. It will take lifetimes before I am defeated."

"Then you're definitely a fool, Sombra," he said tiredly. "Why fight something that won't go away when you can manipulate it? Do you honestly think I'm all that good these days? That I'm truly a _friend_ to anyone?" He paused to scratch his chin. "Well I _am_ a friend to some, but that doesn't mean I always play nice. When I was brought back from stone I was given the options of either being good or going back to my idle state. Which option do you _think_ I'd take?"

"But they've given me no option at all," I told him, uncaring that I was suddenly opening to the very draconequus that sat atop my list of destruction. "I'm to become a friend and that's all there is to it. They won't even let me die and go away."

"Then _become_ a friend, Sombra!" he exclaimed. "Become a friend and yet _remain_ a villain. You know how much fun it is to get under Celestia's skin?"

"I wouldn't know of such a thing."

He shook his head. "Then you haven't lived, my friend. Not at all."

It still felt like something was missing. "I heard you had the chance to doom everyone, that you had sided with someone named Tirek and then relented at the last minute. And that this happened _after_ your reformation. Obviously there must be a piece of you that likes being friends with others—helping them when they need assistance. Why, I ask? Since this all began I've been trying to discover that answer on my own, but the only response I ever get is that it's a feeling that warms your heart. I don't like feelings, I like facts."

The draconequus appeared serious for the first time. "Then maybe real friendship isn't for you, Sombra. Although I might not play by the rules like others, friendship isn't something I would trade for anything. It's like an enema made out of sunshine that never goes away."

"That sounds horrible."

"You get used to it."

Discord snatched another cookie from the communal plate and chewed a little too close to my face. I made mental note to scan for crumbs the moment I was free from him.

"But enough talk of gooey material," he said. "I have the most _interesting_ of notions that you might want to try on Celestia… all in the name of _friendship_, of course."

Then he whispered into my ear what he had in mind.

REGARDING WHITE AND RED ALICORNS

Although she had been drinking from a cup of tea when I presented the notion, she didn't do herself the injustice of spitting it onto her desk. Instead she silently choked on the tepid liquid while she tried to regain her normal regal composure.

"You… you want me to pardon you?" she asked plain-faced, setting her tea cup far, far away. "For… _everything_?"

"Yes." I nodded, then gave her my friendship face. It was hurting less and less to do. "I think it would be rather _friendly_ of you."

At first I had balked at Discord's little half-baked plan, but days later, when nothing of interest was in the works, I relented and asked to speak with the Princess. I only wished I had done so sooner—the draconequus had been right when he said annoying Celestia was an easy and fun way to pass the time. Only now I was curious as to where the conversation might go.

"Sombra, you…" the tall alicorn choked out, "…you enslaved an entire Empire; you tortured countless innocents and murdered untold more. You relished these facts—facts that you've done nothing but boast about since you arrived here. That seems like a lot to merely sweep under the rug."

I lowered my friendly face. "I thought I was becoming a _friend_ to Equestria, Celestia. Isn't that why you keep bringing me back and making me work here? Attend those little meetings in the means to share feelings? How can I truly feel welcome if you continue to hover all of my misdeeds right atop of my head? Doesn't a _fresh start_ to everything sound best?"

Celestia shook her head. "You haven't shown a single, solitary sign of remorse for what you've done, Sombra. Any type of pardon should only work both ways."

I honestly hadn't thought of that. Yes, I had talked a big game once I'd been brought back from the dead, explaining my villainous work to all that would listen. But in the last few weeks such discussions had all but disappeared. It was only when in rehabilitation that items of my deplorable work came to light. Still, what Celestia was asking of me was enough to twist my guts into a knot.

Celestia leaned across her desk, that simple smirk back on her face. She thought she had me. She really did. "_Are_ you sorry for what you've done, Sombra? That's the only way I'll know if you're truly deserving of a pardon."

"_Bleugh_…" Something from breakfast tried to reenter my mouth. I swallowed thickly and couldn't meet the alicorn's eyes. "I'm…" I managed to emit, jaw quivering while both eyes twitched. "I'm… _sorry_." I nearly whispered the last word.

"What was that?" she asked.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted back, wondering if that truly was the first time those two words had toppled from my mouth in that particular order.

Her mischievous grin only widened. "For what?"

"But—" I could tell from her expression she wanted to do this the hard way. She wanted me to exit her room in a huff and call it a day. She was tempting my bluff and yet wasn't counting on one major thing: that I had absolutely nothing left to lose. I said timidly, "I'm sorry for enslaving ponies and for hurting them. And for those rare occurrences where I found the need to… end some of them. I guess I got a little carried away while I was King."

Celestia leaned back in her seat, happy from the outcome. "It pleases me to hear you make such progress, Sombra. As far as I am concerned, I will no longer bring up your troubled past when I regard you."

Now it was my turn to lean closer to her. "That's very kind and all, but I wanted a pardon from you. An _official_ one. In writing, if you please."

With her mouth shut tight, the air escaping her lips sounded distinctly like a boiling kettle. "You really want a pardon for every crime you've ever committed?" she said awestruck.

I nodded. "Yes."

"Really?" She was almost pleading.

"Yes. I think it's the only way to rebuild my new life as a good-natured simpleton. We're friends, aren't we, Celestia? Isn't this something friends would do for one other?"

Specks of red dotted her cheeks and she eyed the nearby window wearily. She knew if she jumped out from it, I wouldn't be able to follow. But it wouldn't stop me from trying this all again some other time.

Half a day later I sat in my usual seat behind my desk and spun to stare at the new plaque that adorned my wall. After getting some assistant to draft up the official pardon, she begrudgingly signed her name on the dotted line (not before excusing herself to another room to, I believe, hyperventilate). Needless to say, I had come away with what I had wanted—aggravating my own tormentor by manipulating her own game, only far better and harder. It was only when I crossed my forelegs behind my head and stared at that framed document that the reality of what I'd just done finally sunk in.

"I'm officially not a villain anymore," I said meekly.

REGARDING PAPER CROWNS

A reoccurrence was happening in the castle and I looked forward to it more than I thought I would. I was scheduled for a whole week on midnight duty and couldn't be happier. Not only did that give me ample time and room from annoying everyday visitors that frequented the castle, but it also gave me time to study and write, as well as visit with a purple alicorn that was spending the week here.

Sometime between midnight and one she would trot into the foyer, sometimes nearly prancing in her step and sometimes moving lethargically. It was during those times I could tell she had been crying—and desperately I tried my best to get her to smile again. Since I had learned all too well that my sense of humor wasn't completely up to par, I usually tried to strike at her intellect by reading from the latest book I had procured.

"You should think about going into voice work, Sombra. You're not bad."

I looked up from the page I was on. "What's voice work?"

"It's when they record ponies talking and then play it back. Some ponies narrate an entire book onto tape and then others buy them to listen to. If you read out mysteries or thrillers, I think ponies would really dig it."

I was confused. "What exactly would they 'dig'? I had always been told my voice was droll and listless."

"Maybe you're old voice, like when you first got here and wouldn't say more than a few mean words to anyone, but I think your voice has softened since then."

"And that's a good thing?" It didn't seem like it.

She nodded. "I think it is, but there's something I wanted to show you." She got up from her chair sat next to mine and trottedbehind the desk and out from view. I heard her pull a few items out of a bag. "I overheard awhile ago you ask for a red blanket because you were cold. Since no one really believed that, they gave you that pink one instead. That's why I found you this."

Onto the counter she laid out a thin red blanket with a string threaded through near the top. With her horn she lifted it over my head and tied it across my neck. The material would never match that of my original cape, I knew, yet I still welcomed such a gift. It felt good to have something around my neck and draped over my back again. And it also felt odd.

"And of course I wouldn't forget this."

Twilight lowered a simple paper crown to my head, fitting just so. I almost felt tingles from the very sensation of having any such circular crown atop my mane.

"I made it from some of your old crosswords, then sort of layered them together. It isn't as elaborate as your old one, but I thought if you wanted to wear this at night when no one's looking, that would be all right."

I could hardly speak it was all too much. "I…"

The alicorn spun my chair to face her, regarding my new clothes like some painter with a blank canvas. When she noted my expression she grew concerned. "Are you okay, Sombra? I thought you'd like it?"

Something was pulsing around the corners of my eyes. I couldn't understand any of this. "Why are you so nice to me?"

She said openly, "Because we're friends, Sombra. And because I think there's some good in you and it only needs the opportunity for it to show. I doubted you before but now I consider you a friend, and a very knowledgeable one at that."

For weeks and months I had staved off the affection of others—turned into a makeshift rock when my rehabilitation group yearned for a welcoming embrace. How odd it was to find myself wrapping both forelegs around that tiny purple alicorn and holding her tight. She stiffened at first (I know I would have done the same), before gently returning the gesture. If there were to be a single page in this journal that I'd consider ripping out and eating to save face, it would probably be this one. When I not only stopped being a villain but also hugged the very pony that had defeated me during my less than triumphant return. It should have all felt like darkness and misery abound. Only it didn't.

I finally parted from her and found a mildly flustered alicorn in front of me. Unanswered questions had been pulling at my thoughts for far too many days now and I decided then that no other opportunity would prove better. I still had very little to lose.

"Why do you cry at night, Twilight?" I tried to ask delicately. "If you aren't visiting the castle to spend time with Celestia or Luna, who is it you're here to see? And why do they make you feel that way?"

Twilight only grew more flustered. "I told you before I didn't want to talk about it."

"But now we're friends and now I want to know."

She closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. I wasn't sure if she would continue or not. "My colt-friend lives and works here. He's part of the guard. I've been seeing him for awhile now and lately we've been getting into arguments. I think it's the distance that doing it—straining our relationship. I want him to come live in Ponyville and he wants me to come live here. Here's enough good reasons for both, but I could never imagine being so far away from my other friends." She thought for a second. "I still love him… I'm sure I do. Things are only a bit complicated right now."

With careful intent I had listened to each word. The truth was close to what I had originally surmised and now I knew with certainty. Twilight had opened up and told me a lot about herself then—laid herself bare. What I took away from it was that someone had _hurt_ her. Someone had _made_ her cry. And had done so more than once.

"What is his name?" I asked, most likely a little too directly.

"I won't tell you that, Sombra."

I took a step towards her. "Tell me what his name is, Twilight."

She rubbed a hoof through her mane. "It's none of your concern, Sombra, and I should have kept my mouth shut about it. They're my problems and I'll solve them like I do every problem. But I should go. It's late enough as it is."

Hurriedly she made her way to the base of the stairs before turning around. "Were you going to attend the Gala next week, Sombra? I'm sure Celestia will push you to go no matter what."

"Are you going to be there?" I asked.

"I'm a Princess, remember? It sort of comes with the territory. My friends will be there too, though."

"Even the pink and yellow one?"

She eyed me quizzically. "What do you have against Fluttershy?"

I paused. "I heard she does things—unnatural things—to villains. Take Discord for example."

Twilight closed her eyes for a moment. "You're sort of weird sometimes, Sombra. But I guess that makes you more interesting than most."

Right after that she hurried up the stairs, leaving the King of red blankets and paper crowns to contemplate about a particular nearby stallion.


	7. Chapter 7: Regarding Endings

REGARDING ENDINGS

A week passed by and I uncovered close to nothing new about Twilight's colt-friend. I rarely saw her during the days so if they were together then I had little knowledge of it. I asked my guard if he knew of him and he only shook his head. He probably did but wasn't about to spill a word. He was dumb, yes. But not _that_ dumb.

The night of the Gala soon arrived and with it an influx of guests throughout the castle. Some were of higher importance that others, while some appeared as though their gowns had been rented out from some cheaper-end shop. It didn't matter to me though. I hated everyone equally.

"That suit looks rather nice on you, Sombra. Who gave you that?"

The white unicorn that was friends with Twilight cornered me in the lavishly decorated ballroom. My original notion was to miss the event entirely, but Celestia had naturally persisted. Regardless, it _did_ get me out of a single nightshift spent occupying the dusty counter.

When Luna had heard that I was going to attend, she fetched someone to lend me a (unsurprisingly) dark blue dress jacket with silver buckles. I might not have hated it as much as my usual white work shirt but that didn't mean I enjoyed wearing it at all.

"Luna did," I eventually answered, gingerly spinning the cup of punch I had grabbed hours ago on my hoof. "Against my best wishes." I finally viewed the immaculate unicorn, her eyes not entirely meeting mine. I could tell she had been sent to converse with me. I guess I still had the power to make _some_ ponies uneasy. I asked her, "Don't you find it weird that every other day of the year you all run around naked and then decide on this night that not wearing clothes would be impolite?"

Instantly she harrumphed at my silly notion. "I'll have you know that I wear differing clothes more days than not, Sombra. I can't be held accountable for being overwhelmingly accessible to beautiful garments."

I won't go into much detail describing the multiple layers she had on that night. My vocabulary isn't big enough and it's a subject I truly don't feel like researching. I'll only say it was oddly bright in that dimly lit room and hurt my eyes when I stared at it for too long. She called it fashion while I would have called it something else entirely.

One by one, each of Twilight's Ponyville friends sidled up next to me to try and pry loose a few words. I have no doubt a certain purple alicorn had requested such unwanted attention.

A pink earth pony bounced towards me and dropped a small white block into my drink. She only continued to bounce in her spot. "What was that?" I inquired.

"Sugar cube!" she yelled at me, even though the classically trained quartet playing that evening hardly passed above a whisper.

"I think there's enough sugar in it already."

When she stopped bouncing I grew worried. When she shoved her elastic face into mine I truly became scared. She whispered angrily, "Then you'd be wrong."

Not wanting to push the subject further, I quickly drank my extra sweet punch.

The last one to make their introductions was the one I had been dreading most. The pegasus with yellow coat and pink mane sat lackadaisical on a seat a good dozen away from me. Each time I caught her staring, she'd only hide behind her long lock of mane. Every few minutes she'd scoot to the next open seat in my direction. Each time she did, I only retreated down the line. Then I ran out of chairs to move to.

"_Pfft!_" I inhaled a swift batch of air when I found her forelegs wrapped around me. She had been silent and patient getting to me and I had plainly underestimated her. Now I could only wait until she'd perform the ritual of "friending," where a peace of my blackened heart would be scooped out by her touch and replaced with a type of ice cream that wouldn't melt. Or… that was what Discord had told me she did.

"I've very proud of you, Sombra," the little hugging thing told me. "I know it must have been tough but you've shown everyone that even bad ponies can change. Twilight's told me of all the progress you've made and I hope when the Princesses believe you're no longer a threat, that you'll come to Ponyville for a visit. I know Angel bunny would enjoy that."

"Uh…" I could have asked a lot of question to the soft pegasus, but upon reflection that might have only warranted an extended embrace. Instead, I patted her on the head and said, "Thank you. You are clearly not as mean and terrible as the stories have made you out to be."

She let go of me soon after that.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

The night wore on and the punch was discarded in favor of more spirited libations. Twilight's apple friend and Twilight's rainbow friend got to drinking hard cider and soon they were barely sitting straight on their seats. From the safety of my dark corner I watched them laugh and tell stories—even the pink one stole the microphone at some point and tried to direct the attendees to sing a song about grins. (I may have admittedly mouthed a few catchy words near the end.) Although I should have been seething from the very sight of my usurpers living and breathing and being all around merry, I found the sight almost endearing.

Countless times this same band of heroes had saved the day and then returned to their normal lives, as friends and as siblings and as workers. Ponies looked at them from time to time and would recognize the accomplishments they had done, but when the day was over and the battle was done, they could still be normal ponies of the earth. They could attend Galas and get drunk and embrace those around them. They weren't waiting for the next wave of nastiness to arrive; formulating plans of attack when others were asleep and darkness was scarcely on the horizon.

They had the ability to be many things at any time—they were not controlled by some label that had been placed on them by themselves or others. I had called myself a villain for longer than I could remember and carried that title with pride wherever I ventured. When I spoke, I spoke as a villain. When I went to sleep, I did so as a villain and I awoke each morning the same. For so long I had clung to a single definition of self and overtime it had stained everything outside and within. I had told myself it gave me joy and perhaps it had. But did I not find the same level of solace from spending time with those that wanted to spend time with me? It was unorthodox, of course, but was it wrong to want more? Was it wrong to want more than a single identity? Or even a new one at that?

In my busy musings I hadn't noticed the one pony I had been waiting for all night.

"I hope you haven't been sitting here this whole time," Twilight said with a grin. She wore a light blue dress with tiny stars at its edges. I was about to comment on the redundancy but told myself to shut up instead. Nevertheless, the alicorn looked captivating that night.

I motioned to a row of seats along the wall. "Earlier I was sitting over there. Now I'm over here. I've only been in this seat for a couple of hours at most."

She furrowed her brow. "That sounds terrible."

"And yet you forget I'm a professional sitter, Twilight."

She extended a leg to me. "Come on. Get up and stretch your legs. Let's dance for a bit."

I regarded the leg gravely. "Shouldn't you be doing that with your colt-friend?"

A bit of shimmer edged out from her eyes. "He's working tonight. He works a lot." She paused. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to dance. Come on now."

"I don't dance, Twilight. I'm not sure how ponies are even _supposed_ to dance."

"Then don't think about it! I never do. And who's left to judge anyways?" She pointed at her two drinking buddies, the multicolored one snoozing quietly on her friend's shoulder. "Plus you have no choice in the matter. Sorry."

She turned and headed to the middle of the floor. Unceremoniously, I was levitated from the safety of my seat and dragged along. Once set back down, she grabbed one of my legs and placed it over one of her shoulders. Even though I felt more awkward and exposed than ever before, the sly smirk on her face quelled any such verbal protests. One song. One dance. And then my butt will taste sweet seat once more. I only had to grin and bare it—the same strategy I had been clamoring to this entire time.

Soon one song became two. And two became more. And then out of the corner of my eye I saw a flock of ponies watching and whispering. I had thought nothing of the dance but then I understood I'd been wrong. Was it because of Twilight they were gawking? Or because of the dark creature she was with?

"I think I'm done, Twilight," I told her. "I suddenly don't enjoy being the center of attention."

She nodded. "I understand. Even if this was your first time dancing, I still think you're better than me. I remember—" A pained expression filled her face as she looked over my shoulder. Whatever energy had been vibrant there had been snuffed out by a mere glance. "I should go," she whispered, before hastily trotted to the back of the room and out the door.

While dancing, she had held onto my leg for so long that it now felt cold without her. I stood in the center for a moment longer while I glared at the throng of ponies still gawking. I could hardly care what they thought of me—most of them I'd never see again after that night.

I only wanted to know where Twilight had gone.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

I described my brief encounter with the Crystal pegasus as one that left a deep, hollow feeling in my chest. What I witnessed in the courtyard of the castle was close to the same, only now that newly created hole was filled with such fury it made me shake where I stood. It was a feeling that reminded me of days past.

Already Twilight was in tears, staring at the ground as she awkwardly kicked at the dirt. Her colt-friend—or horrifically _familiar_ colt-friend—was still occupied with berating her as she said a few words in her defense. I witnessed the end of their heated discussion as the yellow pegasus with blue mane pointed in the direction of the rest of the Gala. Something Sentry shook his head in disgust and then took to the air and out from view.

When I entered the scene, Twilight hitched in a breath and hurriedly wiped at her eyes. I disregarded any such hope for idle chatter.

"_Him!_" I spat. "_Sentry!_ You let _him_ talk you that way?"

She sighed and sat on the ground. "Please, Sombra. I don't want to talk about this now. He saw us dancing and took it the wrong way. I tried to explain but he wasn't listening. He's only tired and overworked. I'll have to talk to him tomorrow, that's all."

I stepped closer, none of my original rage diminishing by Sentry's absence. "Why would you ever go back to that pee-brained simpleton? He is a laughing stock of the guard and the fact that you even talk to him—yet alone _go back to him_—makes me sick!" I blinked rapidly, hooves tapping against the dirt. Already I had made up my mind. "Give me back my powers, Twilight. Give them to me and I will fix all of this."

She looked up at me, exacerbated. "I told you before, Sombra. This doesn't concern you. This is my problem and I'll deal with it once everyone's calmed down."

The steady pulse in my ears told me I had already crossed a line. Yet my old habits made me see it through until the end. "Give me back my powers," I said bluntly.

"No, Sombra. Just go back inside."

"Give them to me, Twilight," I demanded. "And I will set this right."

I crossed the bed of flowers that divided us and with avid hunger glared at her. Somewhere inside that delicate frame she held a small portion of my wrath, and now I wanted it more than ever. _Use_ them more than ever.

Her tears had all but dried. "You're starting to scare me, Sombra."

My shadow crossed over her face. I honestly wondered how she could not understand what I needed to do. Afterwards she would thank me, I knew she would. I was doing her a favor. Something friends were supposed to do for one another. How could she not understand that? Yet sometimes actions speak much louder than words.

I told her, "But you're not the one I want to scare tonight, Twilight."

Before she had much chance to move away I pinned her down and stuck my long horn against hers. Since that night when she had lent me a portion of my original strength, I had thought long and hard about the ritual and how it felt when that energy crossed over to me. It was that sensation I tried to focus on, as I sat atop the wriggling alicorn. Another second longer and she would have escaped from my feeble attempt with ease. Only she had been caught unaware and emotionally drained.

"_Arah!_" In a single second I drank my essence from her and grit my teeth from the immense rush. My limbs thrummed from the sudden strength while the fury that had first entered my being only intensified once given the power to do so.

I didn't have enough strength to take on the world. But I thought I had enough to kill at least a single soul. I hear I used to be pretty good at such tasks.

"No!" is all Twilight got out before I snapped away in a huff of black smoke. If she said more than that I was never aware. I didn't comprehend a great deal of things following that utterly bleak moment.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

I found Sentry in the first place I thought he might hide. In one of the upstairs bathrooms, well away from the rest of the party, he glimpsed himself in a mirror after he must have splashed water on his face. Before I entered he had been polite enough to remove his helmet.

When I found him I had expected evident fear from him. He surprised me a great deal when he only looked mad. "Sombra, I don't know why you're here but we have some things to discuss."

I smiled at him. It was my friendship smile, too, only this time I don't think I was doing it right. "I'm sure we do, pegasus. Only there are a few things I need to straighten first."

"Pegasus? That's no way to talk to your—"

I flicked my foreleg in the direction of the taps and watched with glee as Sentry's head came smashing along the edges of the sink, splitting open the skin over his forehead. Clearly dazed, he stumbled back and tried to mumble something. Since I had heard enough from him that evening, I flicked his frail body to the wall behind him, cracking the plaster in a number of different places. Then he came to rest along the cool floor below.

I stepped over him and smelled fresh blood in the air. I closed my eyes and relished its bold flavor. During times like these it was hard to recall just how much I'd changed since entering Canterlot.

The blood from the gapping wound in his head caused him to close his eyes. With feeble strength he tried to push me away from him—truthfully I barely felt it at all. "Please…" he mumbled to me. "Please don't… please…"

Such sweet sounds to my ears. It had been so long. Yet now we had come too far.

I told him delicately, "I will grant you more mercy than you deserve tonight, Sentry. I promise it will be brief. Ease into death like you would a well-worn suit of armor."

I disregarded my magic in place of something more personal. With renewed strength I came down on his blood-stained face with my hooves and eventually heard the cracking of small bones. Graciously, Sentry had fallen unconscious some time ago and yet the bloodlust that ran rampant in me continued on without him knowing.

"_Stop!_" someone shouted behind me, before I was thrown into the wall opposite the door.

I shook my head and prepared myself to welcome the newcomer, only to find Twilight Sparkle already cradling the bloodied remains of Sentry in her legs. The slow rise and fall of his chest told me he was still alive. I had waited too long—enjoyed the task far too much.

"Why would you do this?" she asked me as she held him close, fresh tears already streaking her face. "He did _nothing_ to deserve this."

I said calmly, "He hurt you, Twilight. I was only doing what I friends are supposed to do for their friends. Help one another. In whatever way possible."

She shook her head, hitching in air. She said softly, "Then you don't understand friendship at all. And maybe we were wrong by trying to change you. You're a monster, Sombra. And I know now I must only be stroking your ego to call you such a thing but that's all I seem to see now. To think you could be anything but a villain had been foolish of us. I don't know how yet but I'll convince Celestia to free you from this. At least then, the next time we defeat you will be the last."

As I watched her cry tears of my own creation, I felt the mild power surge I had stolen from her sputter out and empty. I had tried to do the right thing in the only way I knew how—how I thought _friendship_ was supposed to work. Perhaps the pairing was never meant to be.

REGARDING ACTUAL ENDINGS

This will be my last entry as once I finish writing these words I will go see Celestia along with the other three alicorns. We're only waiting for Cadence to arrive once she'd been summoned from my old Empire. At the moment I'm back at my desk, while I hear the silent plodding of all the janitors that need to clean up after the Gala… and however many need to clean up all the bits of Sentry I left back in the washroom.

Do I feel bad about the incident? I feel it's too early to make such calls. I only know what I did hurt Twilight more than I could have imagined and for that I am pained. I was supposed to free her from what made her sad, and instead I only buried her deeper into it. Times like these make me feel as though I'd be more help not helping at all.

Sentry will live but more than likely will be bedridden for more time than I've spent hunkered behind this counter. He will require surgery—_many_, I'm sure—but I have a feeling his ugliness will remain as constant as ever once he's brought back to health.

It did not take long before Twilight spoke with Celestia. With more than a dozen new guards I was brought up to her throne room, her once sparkling stare now devoid of much of anything.

"I had thought we were making progress," she began dourly. "Obviously, I had been wrong. You almost killed one of my guards tonight and attacked an alicorn, all because of a series of words." She sighed. "I thought if I could help you, Sombra, that you might prove the lynchpin that would attract others to the side of good. You were a long shot that most doubted, and now you've only proven them right. It was not fair of us to force something on you I admit, but I do not regret the decision. If we do not try without the knowledge of potential failure, then we shouldn't try at all. We should have left you dead… and now it is only too late."

"Then you plan on killing me one final time, Celestia?" I had asked. By this point I almost welcomed such a thing. "Cut down your failed conquest and cleanly dispose of it? Too bad everyone in Equestria already knows what you've tried to do."

"I never said I was a perfect ruler, Sombra. I make mistakes like anyone else. But no, I will not strike you down tonight—not unless you prompt me too. I will only reverse what I have done and leave the final decision up to you."

I edged closer to her. "What do you mean?"

"I will bestow to you your magic and set you free. I brought you back from the dead and I will suffer the consequences. Foolishly, I also pardoned you for your past crimes, in the vain attempt at speeding your rehabilitation. I have made more mistakes with you than most, Sombra."

I couldn't have been hearing this all correctly. "What repercussions do I face once I leave?"

"Only what you create for yourself," she said. "The moment you leave this castle you will be followed and monitored, so that the single second you attempt your retribution you will be struck down by the powers of every alicorn. And this time you will be left to rest—what you've wanted for so long."

It almost hurt to be thought of as so simplistic in design. "So that's all you think I'll do once free?"

"Isn't it?"

I didn't respond. I only contemplated all that was happening to me.

Celestia took it as an odd sign before inquiring, "I thought you'd be happy to hear this, Sombra. One final fight. One final death. All up to you. You can be whatever villain you want to be."

I faintly smiled at her. "And the one that was never supposed to give up on me finally does."

She shook her head. "You gave up on yourself the moment you attacked Sentry. He might have hurt Princess Twilight with words, but at least she'll feel better come the morning sun, not breathing through a tube down her throat."

Such gory details should have delighted me to no end. Now I only wanted the night to be over with.

Any moment now I'll be summoned upstairs. Any moment now and I'll be given back what was taken from me. I wonder if they think I'll attack them the moment I can. Four on one? I might boast but I'm not blind to chance. Now all that remains is what I'll do once free of everything. Of course there's a part of me that wants to exit these doors and rain terror on the quiet populace once I've rediscovered my bottomless dark gifts. But there's also another part of me that wants to speak with Twilight again—beg her for her forgiveness. It is more than a long shot and somehow it is still something I want to try. Or course I might not do either of those things. I found the roof easy enough that first time, why not rediscover it and greet death with a smile? Hasn't that what I've been chasing after all this time? To return to that silent sea of liquid black—no cares, no feelings, no conflicting emotions.

I don't know what I'll do and I don't think I'll know until I'm free of this place.

So now I ask you, dear reader, what has become of your tyrannical King? Am I your villain again? Or have I somehow become a friend to you all? Or am I nothing more now than a bit of dried blood on the pavement outside? I used to think of myself as a villain and nothing more. Now that I can be anything, I'm not so sure what I want to be. Only time will tell, I believe.

Wishing you a swift and painless death,

K. Sombra.


End file.
